I am having thoughts today. Isn’t it wonderfully beautiful, how humans can create things? Isn’t it wonderful how we can mimic God? I think that one of the highest things a human can do is to create something beautiful. To make art. To sub-create, pour out the wondrous creative energy of God that resonates through all time into our own, flawed, incredible creations. It’s one of the holiest of things. I’m in awe of the creative power I’ve been blessed with. I have to use it. I have to create. If I don’t then I’m denying my greatest gift. I want to live my life doing nothing but sub-creating, and shaping, and working magic.
But then I’m always faced with the harsh reality that this creative gift is not so highly prized by the world. That I can’t just sit in my basement creating beautiful things. That’s worship. It’s spiritual communion. But it doesn’t pay any bills. And that fact is so incredibly frustrating. The best thing I can do doesn’t give me anything to live off of in our terribly money-shackled society. But some people can live off their creating. I want–need–to be one of those people.
It’s just so hard to be noticed, and I’m deathly afraid that I never will be, and I’ll be stuck never being able to fulfill my purpose of creating. I think the fear is hindering me. Making it harder for me to step out. It’s like a wall. I’ll have to siege it. Can I have some Ents?
Anyway. I feel that sub-creating connects us to God. It’s an expression of our souls and an imitation of Him. It connects us into this divine continuum of power and growth and revival, building up and magic and birth. It is so. Brilliantly. Beautiful. And good.
Words fail me.